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What the hell is this?
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What the hell is this?

    Ah, hello. You’ve stumbled upon my abode, the computer porn tumblr page. You may have arrived here by several means, possibly by looking up “computer” or “porn” because you are twelve, or maybe by trying to find some dirty COMMUTER porn of people getting it on in buses and subways as disgruntled old men and homeless people look on with moist and gaping jaws that seem to whisper sweet nothings into the ears of the world. No, I’m afraid that doesn’t happen here.

    Here we have porn of computers. That’s right, from the Tijuana Bibles of the ENIAC Era to the glistening wet water coolant set-ups of tomorrow. If you’re older than 20, you’ll probably recognize some of this stuff. If you’re younger than 18, this may all be new to you. That’s alright, there’s a first time for everything. Just be wary…. if you’re not careful you may accidentally learn something.

    On this site I like to believe I’m funny, so I try to make running jokes in my posts. Some titles you may see are BIG GIRLS and My Ex-PC. These are spoofs on actual pornography sites featuring overweight women and those dastardly ex-girlfriend pornography sites. BIG GIRLS posts are about supercomputers or really damn big computers. My Ex-PC posts are about modern-ish computers from the Altair 8800 to anything that shipped with Windows 95/98. I may or may not have actually possessed these computers in my life, I try to keep my personal life out of all this mess. The Command Center is another running joke about having a high-tech command center that has only the very best computer accessories imaginable. Sometimes I actually want these items, sometimes they are just plain silly. In the end, you’re the judge.

    I request that you please do not badger me for personal info, ASL, the works. My age is infinite as far as you know, and I like it that way. I will tell you I program and design Video Games from time to time and that I identify as a male human.

    That pretty much wraps up this help page. If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to message me. If you have a special request that you would like to see or would like to know more about anything I post or mention, send me another message!

I love messages, dammit.

    -Nightmare_Riders

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